10 Things that helped me through IVF treatment
If you are going through IVF or maybe you’re hoping to support a friend or partner going through IVF, here is a list of things that will make the process easier.
A heating pad and small gel ice packs for injections.
Your abdomen is inevitably going to feel discomfort, be it from injections or from ovaries that are rapidly increasing in size. Using an electric heating blanket (or similar heating pack) for short lengths of time can bring blood into the area and reduce muscle cramping or pain. If using during the TWW, keep the heat on low and try to limit your heating sessions to 10 minutes at a time.
Similarly, icing for 2-5 minutes before doing an injection can minimize pain at the injection site and help ease any bruising. Note, icing will make injections worse for medications that contain oil, like Progesterone in Oil. Try using your heating pad before and after these types of injections.
Colorful bandages.
There’s no denying: unicorn bandaids are better than neutrally colored bandaids. Having bandaids (or plasters, as they say in the UK!) ready for use helps if you experience bleeding after an injection. And fun bandaids
Customizable calendar to track medications and appointments.
There are lots of calendars or planners to help you stay organized; the key is finding one that works for you! Etsy has lots of options for “desktop stationary”. I recently splurged on a fully customizable Golden Coil planner in which I included monthly spreadsheets to keep track of my supplements and medications. So helpful!
Small rewards: candy after injections or treats after a scan.
Don’t forget to have things on hand to reward yourself when you’re in need of a pick me up. IVF is stupidly difficult to manage and you deserve rewards. Invest in some chocolate, pick up flowers when you’re having a hard day, and establish a go-to location for a coffee or pastry after clinic visits. Always have something good to look forward to when doing the hard things.
Stickers.
Choosing a sticker after every injection was a tiny dose of dopamine during a difficult time. My husband and I would trade picking out the sticker and place it next to the medicine dose on the treatment calendar. I recommend picking out lots of different stickers that would make your childhood self happy.
Comfortable lounge pants.
After several days of stimulation injections, most people bloat beyond their normal level of “I ate too much pizza” bloat. And for those of us #blessed with OHSS, that bloat only gets worse and won’t start to lessen until a week after egg retrieval, on average. Same applies for frozen embryo transfer protocol; those meds will make you look pregnant despite the cycle outcome. The best kindness you can give to yourself is permission to not try on your close fitting clothes and instead have options for comfy clothes. Lounge pants, rompers, and flowy dresses are key!
Organization system for medications
You will be SHOCKED when you see how many meds you need for a stims cycle or a FET cycle. Upwards of 5-10 doses a day. There are a few companies that sell IVF organization kits but I found something as simple as IKEA MOPPE chest of drawers to be incredibly helpful. Keeping needles, antiseptic wipes, medications, and bandages in one place helps to lower the stress you might feel regarding injections.
A go-to pitch to talk about IVF.
Inevitably you’ll have to tell some people about what you’re going through. Check out my guide to speaking with friends and family about your IVF treatment.
Self-advocacy.
If you’re the patient, its important to speak up for yourself and insist on having your questions answered. You are the driver of this treatment and unfortunately sometimes doctors and nurses aren’t thinking holistically about your treatment. They might forget that a medication doesn’t work for you or that you’ve already completed that test or that a secondary diagnosis might affect treatment outcomes. Don’t be afraid to speak up!
For partners and friends looking to support, advocate for the patient by doing your own research. Don’t add to the patient’s burden by expecting them to educate you on the treatment plan or explain how things work. If you get included in scans or doctor visits, advocate for the patient by asking questions and insisting on explanations and answers from the medical team. Do what you can to lessen the mental burden on the IVF patient.
Self Love.
Last and most importantly, the thing that will help you through IVF the most is self love. The one thing we can’t control is the outcome of treatment. It doesn’t matter if you gave up gluten or took daily walks or ate pineapple core (why do people do this?!) you cannot force your treatment to work. Ultimately some people get very lucky and some people have to continue to climb mountains towards their goal of parenthood. Showing love and kindness and checking in on those tricky emotions is the most important thing you can do for yourself (or your partner or friend).
