Infertility: Managing to eat when in survival mode.
Food is a huge piece of the puzzle for infertility, whether used as comfort or for healing. Eating is one of the most consistent things in our lives, and in my opinion, one of life’s few pleasures!
However, the ordinary task of planning and preparing food for us and our households can turn into a monumental burden when dealing with infertility burnout. Especially if you are someone who struggles with ED, textures, or if you’re a bit picky about your food. Over the last several years of ‘surviving’ infertility, I’ve found things that can better support our meal planning and eating needs.
The problems I’m trying to solve for are these:
The mental burden of choosing a menu
Meals that fit in with fertility restricted ingredients or allergies
Ensuring there are always options so you don’t fall back on snacks for dinner
Spending too much on takeaway food
Not being tied to cooking every night
Variety in meals and recipes
Carrying the mental load for your household
These are just suggestions; try a few and see what works for you.
Meal Prepping:
Shopping lists - This is very individual. Maybe you could benefit from a shared note on your phone that you and your partner can keep updated with current shopping needs. Could also be handwritten if you prefer. This list can then be used when ordering grocery delivery or when sending someone to the store for you!
Grocery delivery - the pandemic normalized this habit for many of us. Grocery delivery offers several benefits: time saving, no last minute purchase decisions, ability to plan ahead. Shopping online gives us the luxury of reviewing ingredients without other shoppers in the aisles and helps us remember what we purchased last time or what other options might be available to us that wouldn’t have otherwise caught our eye. And if all else fails, you can reorder a recent purchase so at least something shows up to your door.
Prepare for the unexpected - Sure, you’re feeling okay enough now to put together an online order, but who knows how you’ll feel next week? Add a few things to your cart that will help tie you over in case of an emergency (like a chocolate emergency!)
Ask for help - I’ve found meal planning or shopping quite difficult when on meds. The nausea or fatigue can be overwhelming and even looking at photos of food makes me feel sick.. Ask your partner or close loved one to help you out with the mental load & responsibility. Ask them to research ways to simplify meal time (or give them this article to read!).
Meal kits and subscription services - these take all of the mental load out of cooking and allow you to simply pull out ingredients and cook from a paper recipe. Typically, a meal kit box will cover at least half your dinners in a week, allowing some flexibility for takeaway or other meals without creating food waste.
Produce boxes - These are good if you’re someone who likes consistent variety! A produce subscription will deliver seasonal fruits and veggies on a consistent schedule, allowing you to consume more fresh produce without the burden of having chosen what produce to eat.
Pre-chopped veggies - store-bought or prepped by you, having veggies prepared is a huge flex when you’re too tired to do extra in the kitchen. This is also an excellent hack for adding extra veggies to meal kits or prepping a quick lunch. Only thing to keep in mind is that pre-chopped produce does have a shorter shelf life; things that can be frozen or come frozen can be especially helpful.
Organize your ingredients - if you’ve shopped for a particular recipe, an easy way to help that night’s cook might be to have the ingredients stored together in a paper bag or even a corner of the fridge or cupboard. Find what works for you. Maybe that’s a shelf for your partner to find the “easy meal” options if they don’t always know what’s in the cupboard. I have a corner of my cabinet reserved for snacks- I always know where to look when I’m feeling snackish.
Shelf stable go-to quick meal ingredients - Always have a few meal’s worth of ingredients in your cupboard. This could be as simple as boxed mac & cheese! Other ideas include instant rice, canned beans, fajita kits, canned soup…
Prioritize food space - Do you have some ‘wishful thinking’ items in your freezer that you will probably never get around to cooking in this current state? Pull those out and gift them to your neighbor or your mother in law. Or toss them in the compost. Make some room for a few time saving, quick cooking options. Same applies to the kitchen pantry- if it doesn’t suit your current diet or time limitations, move it out of the way or give it away. Ditto any fancy cooking appliances you don’t have the energy to use; don’t let it sit on the counter and taunt you. Reduce the mental load of having to look at the items you can’t eat or use.
Add in nutrients - When possible, add additional ingredients to things you know you can eat. Preparing the mac & cheese box mentioned above? There are easy ways to add veggies or protein to a meal without requiring much cooking. Broccoli, peas, spinach or preferred greens, beans, frozen berries, minced or pre-cooked meats…
Frozen ready meals - Always have something ready to eat that doesn’t require cooking. For us, usually it’s a frozen pizza that can be tossed in the oven. The fancier the grocery store, likely the more options they have for frozen meals!
Let’s talk specifics on meals:
Breakfast
The best kind of breakfast is one you don’t have to spend too much time or thought on. I’m a huge fan of pre-baked breakfast.
Loaf bread - Banana bread, cinnamon (coffee cake) bread, lemon bread, etc. There’s no shame in buying things like this ready made! Depending on your location, you might be able to find mixes for these, often requiring just a few ingredients like eggs, bananas, milk, or oil. If baking at home, you can use organic berries, flax seed, flour or sugar alternatives…
Instant oatmeal - is there anything easier than boiling water and stirring in a packet of instant oatmeal? Oats provide such good amounts of fiber and energy for your day. Berries, flax or chia seeds, nuts etc are optional but can provide extra nutrients as needed.
Overnight oats - As the name implies, the prep work for this breakfast happens the night before. You can prepare more than one portion at a time, in fact you can prepare them up to 5 days in advance. The oats will be more creamy the longer they sit (which is only a plus in my opinion).
Oatmeal cookies - I have made many a batch of my oatmeal breakfast cookies. I change up the ingredients depending on the season, my kitchen cupboard contents, or my mood.
Breakfast bakes - Think of this as meal planning for breakfasts. There are tons of great ‘casserole’ bakes that can be made for breakfasts. Most of them are variations on eggs, breakfast meats, and veggies, baked in a large dish. One of these can be prepped for the week or frozen into individual portions.
Eggs with greens - This has been such a craving of mine during IVF. I shred cheese into a bowl, add and mix two eggs with a fork, and scramble in a cast iron pan with a little butter. While that cooks, I wash and roughly chop some dino kale (spinach works too!) and quickly fry it up with a little more butter after the eggs cook.
Pre-baked egg cups - Takes a bit of prep work but a great option to freeze and heat up individual portions.
Beans on toast - I suppose this makes me really british now but I love beans on toast! I always keep a can of beans in tomato sauce in my cupboard to heat up and any bread on hand will do.
Pancakes - Bisquick or paleo powder mixes, cooking from scratch or scrambling up ripe banana and egg; any kind of pancakes can be a quick comfort meal. If you have the energy, cook up some extra pancakes and freeze for a quick future breakfast! Pancakes reheat quickly in the oven or toaster.
Storebought frozen breakfast- there’s no prize for making breakfast yourself. If having storebought frozen breakfast foods (like pancakes, waffles, breakfast burritos, breakfast sandwiches, sausages) will help you eat the most important meal of the day, I’m not here to stop you. Do it.
Collagen in your coffee - If all you can stomach is a cup of coffee, that’s your call. Adding a spoonful of collagen will help ease you into your day and provide you with a little protein.
Lunch
A good time to maximize nutrients that might be missing from your other meals.
Smoothies with fruit and protein powder - I like to freeze chopped bananas or buy chopped & frozen fruit to act as ice in smoothies. Organic protein powders are an easy flavor addition and are helpful when doing a stims cycle (your body needs all the protein it can get when growing follicles!). If you want to add more nutrition to your day, this is a good time to add things like organic berries or spinach, which hide easily in your smoothie. Pro tip: include a big spoon full of nut butter to make your smoothies nice and creamy.
Charcuterie plate - AKA a snack plate! I keep a few things on hand that will always go on my snack plate (olives, cheese, seeded crackers) but otherwise it depends on the contents of my fridge. Other ideas include sliced carrots or bell peppers with hummus or dip, sliced fruit, bite sized veggies, sliced baguette, nuts; the options are endless.
Fruit and nut butter - Is there anything more simple and satisfying than an apple or banana topped with peanut butter?
Salads - If you’re opting for a salad, make sure it will FILL you up. Pick a greens base, pick a protein (hardboiled egg or pre-cooked chicken are my go-to’s), pick a few different chewing textures (olives, cheese, apples), pick a dressing (I’m boring and always use EVOO and balsamic) and finally pick a crunch (seeds, croutons, nuts, cheese crisps)!
Pasta - Is there anything easier than boiling pasta for 7 minutes and adding a bit of butter or sauce? Don’t forget to salt your pasta water! And be generous with the cheese, if cheese is allowed.
Sandwiches - Honestly why did I stop eating sandwiches?! What a powerhouse of energy. Lately, I’ll make a sandwich in the morning just to make my midday easier. The key to a filling sandwich is incorporating protein, carbs, and fiber. Bonus points for crunch (ie crunchy peanut butter in a PBJ or nice romaine lettuce in a savory sandwich).
Dinners
Often this would be the only meal in a day that was shared with my husband. Because of this, I regularly ask him to cook, especially if I’ve done the work of shopping and choosing the meal. The cooking part is the “easy” part, and helps when my energy is gone at the end of a long day.
From Frozen - Specifically, frozen meals that only require you to turn on the oven, insert food, set a timer, and retrieve food. Pizza, quiche, pie, cassaroles, enchiladas, lasagne, you get the idea.
Pan fried salmon or fish - Fish is often recommended for fertility but fish can be intimidating to cook. I like to pan fry salmon skin side first then flip, 4 minutes on each side. A little olive oil + salt and pepper is all it needs. Add a side of your choice!
Meal kits - As mentioned above, meal kits are a great way to be eating a variety without having to shop for ingredients yourself. You don’t even need to pick the meals; most services have a default setting that will do it for you!
Salad kits - A pre-bagged salad is incredibly easy. Add extra greens and protein and voila.
Sheet pan meals - These are meals that can be baked on one pan. Typically they include roasted veggies with simple protein. I promise you, it’s very hard to go wrong if you throw protein and veggies on a pan with salt, pepper and olive oil for 30 minutes at 350f (additional seasonings optional). There are ways to make this fancier, but that’s not the point of this list. Some favorites of mine include:
Sausages and pre-cut mediterranean veggies
Chicken breast, potatoes, onions, carrots
Cannellini beans + broccoli + potatoes
Whole roasted chicken with root veggies (increase cooking time to 60 minutes; can use a dutch oven with lid)
Leftover grocery meals - These are meals that use up veggies or meat you bought but haven’t been inspired to use yet.
Shepherd’s pie
Bolognese sauce with pasta
Taco night or taco salad
“Sloppy Joe’s” sandwiches
Sheet pan meals, explained above.
Snacks
Because, you deserve them. Stressed out humans need snacks to reduce stress hormones and hormonal/emotional people need snacks even more. It’s science. I challenge you to let yourself go a little wild on the snack side; treat yourself like a little kid on vacation. This is a temporary phase in life.
Fruit - buy your favorites, even if they seem pricey (organic raspberries always feel like such a splurge to me!)
Crackers - or crunchy snacks, like trail mix
Fancy/organic cheese - Splurge on your favorites! I always lament the loss of brie cheese when I’m in a TWW.
Chips/crisps - take your pick of any potato, tortilla, or veggie variety, according to your dietary needs/restrictions
Popcorn (kernels are my favorite, and then I pop them in a little oil on the stove with whatever seasonings sound good)
Chocolate or sweets- dairy/sugar free, organic, fair trade, as needed.
Organic teas and coffee - Caffeine has been proven safe during fertility/pregnancy (if that worries you) but do keep an eye on the ingredients in herbal teas during certain phases of your cycle!
Kombucha or sparkling water - What non alcoholic drink feels like a luxury to you? Buy some and treat yourself as often as needed
Roasted nuts - great source of fibre and protein and might be recommended by your healthcare professionals to add specific nuts anyways, like walnuts or Brazil nuts
Ice cream or sorbet - an afternoon popsicle or ice cream bar really hits the spot.
I haven’t mentioned lots of options for dietary restrictions, but nearly anything you are working with can be adjusted for these options. There are gluten free, sugar free, dairy free, and organic versions of nearly everything these days. When I had to be restrictive, I found online shopping for groceries to be the easiest. Take it as a personal challenge to find the items that will work for you, knowing that you won’t have to eat like this forever. The limitations you’re working within now are getting you closer to a healthier you, perhaps a version of yourself that will reach goals that until now have been out of your reach.
When I was eating according to a fertility nutritionist’s plan, I reminded myself constantly that I had only made a 3 month commitment. Three months is the length of time it takes to improve egg and sperm quality (sperm a little less). Rather than count down to the end, I celebrated the small steps I did take, like counting up the weeks and treating myself to a fancy food or beverage along the way.
I cannot emphasize this enough- lock in an accountability partner and helper. Either your partner or a friend who can support you during this time. If someone else understands you’re struggling with food, they can encourage you to eat or suggest ways you can make this work for you. For those of you on a fertility journey with a partner, sit down with them and let them know how important it is for them to be eating healthy as well. It takes both sperm and egg to make a baby, and it matters that both people providing DNA are doing what they can to ensure success. Even if your partner isn’t supplying DNA, their long term health will affect your future baby and their support now can make or break the fertility treatment experience. Ask for what you need from them.
I hope this list helps - it does get easier and you won’t feel like this forever! Bon appetit!
